Kellie Pickler - Photos

Didn't You Used to Be Kellie Pickler?

There was something unintentionally sad about Kellie Pickler’s appearance. A couple weeks ago, they got comments from Hugh Hefner about the death of his friend and protégée, Anna Nicole Smith and I felt like strangling the guy or at least like putting saltpeter in his fifty gallon Viagra vats. He might have pulled her from behind the Burger King counter to celebrity, but he had so clearly done nothing to help her defend herself from all Playboy-induced celebrity might bring with it. For the guy who should have known better than anyone to be going, “So sad, such a tragedy,” was a bit like Charles Manson sending Roman Polanski a condolence card after he breaks up with a girlfriend.

This was not the charming if occasionally irritating nineteen year old who outlasted several better singers with comic timing, perkiness, and a kind of Girl from the Trailer Park Next door charm. This wasn’t even Girls Next Door, the tv show, charm. This was like she’d suddenly acquired all the creepiness of one of the Girls Next Door’s mothers. You know the ones who visit that show from time to time and manage to witness their daughters living with the closest thing American culture has to a vampire just for the sake of fame, money, cosmetic surgery discounts,and their own reality show.

The look was part Eva Gabor (I guess Green Acres makes some sense) part Dolly Parton (I won’t comment on which two parts), but the new Kellie Pickler was like a punch in the stomach. If this is what American Idol does to more of these wide-eyed young singers in just a year, I need to wash the tv with lye afterwards. It made me feel even more guilty for enjoying the show and promoting it. How do you go from 20 to 40 in just twelve months without vampires being involved? More...

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